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Great Ways To Start A Conversation
There are several different types of scenarios that require equally different conversation topics. There are conversations that require the introduction style to start a connection, and then there are conversations that require the individual to ask questions to get to know the other party better.
Getting Started
Then there are also conversation starters that would start with a “what if” question to get the other party committed to commenting, and therefore providing the ideal topic for further discussion. These styles often provide an adequate amount of information that allows all involved to carry the conversation for a longer period.
Other conversation starters may include icebreakers such as talking about a pet, a hobby, an interesting venture, a new experience, travel, kids, retirement, politics, and a whole array of other interesting topics. Some conversation starters in a more business-like environment would have to be designed around more business-related topics. Having the relevant information within the knowledge base will allow the individual to smoothly and effectively contribute to the ongoing conversation.
Being able to contribute in a seemingly knowledgeable way in an ongoing conversation without appearing authoritative or overbearing will ensure those around will feel comfortable and positively drawn to the individual. Having a friendly manner and taking care not to dominate but to try and include everyone in the conversation will certainly show the individual in a good light.
First Date Conversations That Get You Second Dates
Getting Another Date
There are some key elements to note when trying to design good conversation for the first date, and these would include practicing, having great questions, and knowing the end goal intended for the date. With all this clearly formatted in the individual’s mind, getting the date off to a good start would not be impossible.
The practice section would include the individual having to come up with great questions that are suitable for the occasion or date and also have interesting corresponding answers for the questions put forth in order to keep the conversation going back and forth. Practicing with friends and family will help the individual get better at ensuring the smoothness and flow of the conversation is kept throughout the topic being discussed.
Then the next stage to perfect would require the clear understanding of the goal of the date, which is to secure a second date easily. In order to do so, the individual would have to create an enjoyable experience for the other party that would help make the decision for a second date an easy one. Ensuring a good time is the priority, as people who enjoy themselves on first dates are more likely to be interested in a second one. There is also the issue of appearing confident when carrying out the conversation. The confidence levels portrayed will give the other party a chance to be impressed with the individual and thus be keen to go on a second date.
Choosing The Best Date Conversation Topics
What Topics
Picking a topic that would garner good rapport would be a good place to start. A topic that allows both parties to connect and relate to each other would definitely be a winner. When there is an evident connection, the elements of trust and friendship can be started.
Choosing a topic that is unique but that the individual is an authority on will help to impress the date enough to get the other party asking questions and thus helping to keep the conversation going. However, caution should be exercised here to ensure the topic is interesting to the other party too, otherwise boredom is more likely to set in. It will also help to create a little mystery and excitement for the evening.
Other good topics would ideally have to include a way to entice the other party to give out information that can then become another avenue for discussion. This is usually a good ploy as it creates the element of being impressed that the other party is caring enough to be interested in the information shared. It also provides the ideal platform for the other party to be emotionally committed to the conversation content, thus really paying attention to what is being said.
If the element of comfort has been clearly expressed and is evident, the conversation can take on a sexual angle. However, this should only be introduced if it is clearly evident that the other party is open to such a possibility.
List of Horrible & Awful First-Date Conversation Topics
What To Avoid
- Talking about past relationships and partners is a real no-no. This can end up intimidating the other party and certainly making them feel very uncomfortable indeed. No one wants to be in a position where there is a possibility of being compared to someone else, especially if it is not in a favorable light.
- Discussing sex is also something to be avoided on a first date as this will automatically put the other party on alert mode and effectively create an uncomfortable and defensive body and mind aura. Talking about sex on the first date will only show the person as having a one-track mind, and this is definitely off-putting for someone who is interested in building a relationship that is not just based on sex.
- Talking about politics and religion is okay if it can be done in a light and non-judgmental way. In most cases, this is rather impossible; therefore, it would be safer to avoid these topics, lest the date turns into an argument. Most people have very strong feelings about both these topics and are often very set in their perceptions, and any attempt to change these perceptions or thoughts will be met with probable contempt and disdain.
- Talking about bad habits is probably the most disgusting and off-putting topic to pick for a discussion during a first date. It is even more disgusting if the individual talking about the habit is an actual practitioner of it.
How to Avoid Awkward Silences
Avoiding Silence
Doing some research before the date or encounter would definitely help to arm the individual with topics to inject into the conversation when there is any occurrence of awkward silences. Finding out a little about the other party’s likes and dislikes would help in choosing the topic to discuss. Failing which, injecting any popular topic of the particular time would also be something that should be considered when there is an awkward silence.
Relaxing and allowing the mind to feel at ease will probably also be something that should be mastered, as when a person is relaxed, the confidence levels exuded would effectively cover any awkward silence without seeming to make the individual uncomfortable and this will spill over into the general atmosphere around the date.
Listening and paying attention to what the other party is saying will also give the individual clues of what topics to pick up on during the conversation, so that when there is a lull, these clues can help conjure up things to talk about. Also looking around with an observant eye may help the individual come up with something to comment about and thus effectively start a new topic of discussion. However, this observation should not take too long as it might be perceived as boredom and thus be insulting or uncomfortable to the other party.
Keeping the Conversation Flowing
Keep It Going
Most people are quite nervous to start with when going on dates, especially if these are first encounters. Going prepared is probably the best advice to give, as arming oneself with a whole bunch of topics will give the individual a lot of back-up conversation pieces to inject into the conversation when it seems to be failing or when it seems to be on the verge of stopping altogether.
Being observant about the surroundings and happenings around the room is also another way to find things to inject into a conversation when there is a need to keep it flowing. However, caution should be exercised as the conversation should not take on a tone that is accusing, condemning, or condescending. This would paint the individual in a bad light and would not sit well with the other party.
Remembering the basics about the conversation and then coming up with further questions and perhaps even funny interjections on the topic to add some life and continuity back into the conversation. Using open-ended questions will also help to extend the conversation and give the other party a chance to fill in the gap.
Understanding and accepting that it is not completely the responsibility of the individual to keep the conversation going smoothly will help keep the pressure off and bring about a relaxed feeling. Sometimes the other party may have something to say, and the ebb in the flow of the conversation would be a good time to give them an opportunity to say something new.
Wrapping Up
A good date is usually evident when both parties are having a good time. This is also true in any other scenario where the parties meeting for the first time are completely at ease and comfortable with each other, and the general mood of the evening is light and enjoyable. However, the trick to get to this plateau is in the conversation for the occasion and how it flows throughout the encounter.
The following are some tips on how to keep the encounter interesting and increase the attraction levels to a comfortable and enjoyable plateau:
- Laughter: Laughing is always a great way to relax and enjoy oneself. Therefore, without being ridiculous or totally silly, injecting some appropriately designed humor into the encounter will help everyone to relax and have a good time. This is definitely possible when there is a lot of laughter and smiles. When both parties are smiling and having a good time, the attractions are usually heightened to a pleasant enough level, where other options can be explored.
- Compliments: Using psychology is also another platform to consider when it comes to injecting elements that will ensure the encounter is interesting and the attraction is evident. When there is an opportunity, a compliment should be extended on a particular trait that is evident in the other party, and when this is effectively established, human nature is such that people normally try and up play further something that seems to be creating a positive impact. On this note, the encounter can be kept interesting because now the other party will be conscious of displaying this complimented trait, and on a subconscious level will be occupied in doing so effectively. This little twist of events will usually give the other party the feeling of being empowered, and this will usually work in the favor of the party initiating this exercise.
Dr. Amanda Stone is a renowned psychotherapist and BDSM educator with over 15 years of experience in the field of human sexuality. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and has dedicated her career to exploring the intersections of mental health, sexuality, and spirituality. Dr. Stone is a passionate advocate for the healing potential of BDSM and regularly conducts workshops and seminars to educate individuals and couples on safe, consensual, and spiritually enriching BDSM practices.