Understanding and Mastering Body Language

By: Dr. Amanda Stone , psychotherapist and BDSM educator

 

Introduction

Body language is the way the person uses different parts of the body when he/she is in public. This language determines the mental state of them. Many experts can read about the mentality of the person just by seeing their bodies. This is also termed as body language reading.

This guide gives the crucial information about body language. It is the gesture given by them while conversing with you. After reading this guide, you will be getting to know what’s in the people’s mind with their body language. In formal and casual communication, you need to focus on the words or what the people are talking exactly about.

However, non-verbal communication is likely very important. Body language speaks a lot about the person’s mentality and moreover, what he is conveying is more important than the words that he is speaking aloud. For instance, when you go to your colleague’s home, and he/she says “I am pretty happy to welcome you to my home.”

However, if their arms are crossed over the chest and the body is in rigid position and if the face is unsmiling, it means that the person is not happy for coming to his/her home. The person will feel and react accordingly. The most significant field in science called kinesics talks about how important the body language is while communicating and for maintaining long-term relationship with the people.

For example, understanding the body language of the sub-ordinates is quite important for both managers and leaders. The gestures and cues will help the leaders understand the thoughts of their employees in the meeting or other boardroom discussions.

Fundamentals of Body Language

From the interview process till the employee resignation or fired up the body language is being observed and jotted down by the managers. You can speak non-verbal language outside the office premises. All the family members such as lover, friend, parents, children, spouse, neighbors, etc., communicate in a non-verbal way. Moreover, these non-verbal messages are loud, clear and contain mistakes.

The teenager who bangs the door, the lover who exchanges affectionate looks, the mother who is waiting for his daughter to come home from school, etc. does not require to say a single word to express their feelings. The first and foremost fundamental principle of body language is that the signal of the body unveils the feelings of the individuals.

It is explained more clearly below: Most of the people under certain circumstances or situations are unaware of their body language. They do not use any body language to say lie to the person or obscure the truth. In spite of their words, the body language speaks a lot about what they are feeling and thinking about.

In certain cases, the words of the person will be different to that of his/her body language, at that moment just trust the non-verbal message than the words. Reading the body language is the skill that has to be developed by experience, practice and careful observation of the individual while talking.

You need to observe the person to learn and read the non-verbal message that is conveyed by him/her.

Understanding Body Language

People have to understand that body language is not all about the facial expressions of a person, body stance, or movement of limbs, but here are a few elements that convey the non-verbal communication:

• Breathing while communicating and other signs such as perspiration, pulse rate and blushing
• Voice quality (pitch, volume, pauses, tone, etc.)
• How the person holds certain things such as cigarettes, pen, glasses, ball, bag, etc.
• The distance from which he/she is communicating

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Ways to Read Body Language

The people who are inquisitive to learn and read the body language require a certain skill set:

• Should be an observer
• Put efforts and work hard in learning this process
• Require hands on training (real-experience)
• Require patience
• Should study carefully

By having the above mentioned qualities, one can master in the art of body language within least time span. Moreover, reading body language is not so challenging task. But it has to be studied for a longer period of time under the supervision of scientists and psychologists. These people will be guiding you in all aspects to learn and interpret body language.

This skill is quite useful and fascinating too. This helps the person to know when the person is lying to him/her or to know the thoughts behind a poker face. The non-verbal language is learnt by the people who are very much interested in people and their dynamic relationships.

 

Effective Tips to Study Body Language

Focus on the facial expressions, especially on eyes. These are the replica to their soul, which clearly conveys what the person is feeling inside. If the eyes are opened widely, it means that the person is interested in speaking about the topic or the person with whom he is speaking to.

Dilated eyes indicate the focus or concentration of the individual and this also says that the person is taking drugs. Eye-contact is also very important. If the person’s eyes are looking a side means, that he/she is hiding something or feeling shy.

If the eyes are looking down means that the person is very embarrassed. However, these interpretations are not cent percent correct. But with experience you can measure what their eyes are conveying exactly.

Meaning of Facial Expressions and Movements

• Rub the chin: When the people rub the chin, it means that he/she is thinking or deciding something
• Raise the eyebrows: When the people raise eyebrows, it means that they are shocked or astonished by seeing something. The greater the surprise, the higher they lift the eyebrows.
• Closing the eyebrows quickly: When the people close and open the eyebrows quickly, it means that they are making some gesture or greeting the person who has entered the room.

Moreover, the body position also determines about the people. If the person standing in the same position or stance to another person, it means that they both comfortable to speak with each other. This position is called as mimicking or imitating the position of another person. If the distance between the individuals is less, it shows their affection, warmth and openness between them.

If they are standing by maintaining a wide gap, it means that they are acquaintances and not at all interested to speak with one another. If one person is coming close to another and the other is moving far away, it means that the other person does not want to come closer to him. In case, if the second person also comes closer to the first person, it means that he is interested in speaking with him/her.

Reading People’s Mind to Boost Our Lives

People come across different individuals every day in their lives due to many reasons such as business, work, family, education, etc. In few cases, you would like to get an offer or request or invite a person for which you expect a weight of response, this allows you to know whether or not the person agree or disagrees to your request. Here you need to use a fundamental mind reading trick.

The people who can read the mind of the second person can know, what is exactly going on in the other person’s mind. So, these mind reading tricks are very useful to read the person who comes across in our daily lives. Practice meditation Do yoga or meditation to read the person’s mind.

Join in the meditation classes if you are inquisitive to know about the person. Meditation helps you to take control over your mind and body by practicing it regularly. It changes your way of thinking and brings your mind to conscious stage.

Alpha state is one of the states in mediation that tell the person’s state when he/she is awake and being asleep. Here you will get positive impressions, where your mind is relaxed and rejuvenated. People in their regular lives may get dazed off after watching a movie or driving a vehicle.

The best to get back to alpha state is by carrying out regular activities. However, by practicing meditation and yoga techniques one can be alert and aware of the things happening in and around their surroundings and drain away all the negative impression created.

The people can read the mind of the person and understand their responses easily.

Put Yourself in the Shoe of Another Person

To read the mind of the other individual, you need to put yourself in the place of them. This is the perfect way to understand what is going on in the mind of the other person.

The scientists have unveiled the fact that, the neurons in our brain trigger us when another person does the same thing that is done by us prior. So, when we are able to interpret these things, we can easily read the mind of the other person and the responses and reactions they give for the queries we ask them.

Build Huge Network

Another wonderful and powerful technique is to start interacting with different people. Try to make a new companion by joining in social networking sites or clubs to build a big network. When you communicate with these people you will understand their behaviors and the way they think.

To read a person’s mind, all you need is a practical knowledge and experience in dealing with different personalities, thus helping you to embrace this skill.

Importance of Eyes in Body Language

We all know that eyes are the most expressive organs in the human body. Poets wrote odes on them and scientists have done extensive research on them. However, you need not require any training to be read the nonverbal language of the person; you just need to observe the signals that are given by the person by viewing at their signs.

When a person crinkles their eyes, it means that they are thinking deeply, when the person rolls up their eyes it means that they are showing unwillingness to something. The eyes can tell what is going on in the person’s mind and probably this is the organ that never speaks lies, and moreover, whatever you see with eyes will be cent percent truth about the person’s feelings.

Most of the people, who want to know that truth about something just say, look into my eyes and tell the truth. The eyes are the replica of your inner thoughts and feelings. Every individual has the inborn ability to feel what their eyes are conveying exactly and connect with the people with the silent and effective language of the eyes.

It is known fact that, the person standing at a far distance from the second person can feel that he/she has established eye contact with the other person standing at a far distance.

The different looks you can observe with the eyes include glazed look, astonishing look, emotional look, caring look and the look that hides guilt or shame. It is very difficult to explain the emotions conveyed by the person through the eyes. However, few of the looks can be identified by all the individuals, but they are some gestures that are given by the eyes which can only be understood by the person who has learnt eye language.

This is explained with two interesting examples:

• Eyes looking towards the right side: This means that the person’s brain is thinking or envisioning about something. This also means that the person is lying to them and also means that he is speaking something and thinking something in mind. Moreover, it also means that he is narrating or imagining his own story that is incorrect.
• Eyes looking towards the left side: This means that the person’s brain is recollecting or recalling something. This also means that a person speaks the truth by recollecting the things without making up a story of his own.

These above examples are associated with how the brain functions of left and right side. Here right side of the brain is creative and left side of the brain has cold facts and good memory.

By the eye direction, we can identify which side of the brain is functioning on them. If the person’s eye is towards the right side, then right brain is functioning, which means that he is telling lies whereas if the person’s eye is towards the left side, it means that left brain is functioning and the person is recollecting the facts.

Crime investigation officers and police officers see the eyes of the person to judge whether they are speaking truth or not. Moreover, the person looks right does not say lie always, but also he is unsure, or he/she does not know the answer, etc.

Role of Head and Face in Nonverbal Language

When we are conversing with the person we usually observe their face and head. However, we can also look at the various gestures they give while speaking without looking at any other side. There are six fundamental expressions that are being recognized across the globe irrespective of what culture, religion or sex they are.

The person can understand and identify what that particular expression means. The basic six are happiness, anger, sadness, surprise, fear and disgust. These are not learnt but are inborn. Out of these expressions, head and face can convey a lot more emotions and mentality about the person.

Any individual can learn about these expressions by carefully observing the person who meets them or comes in contact with them directly. This is the way the experts read the person without speaking with them verbally.

Head can define various emotions and inner thoughts of the person. The direction of the head determines the direction of the body. Here you can turn your head in backward, forward, left or right directions. All these directions have certain meanings and moreover, nodding the head also conveys some useful signals while speaking.

Head Movements with Their Meanings

• Nodding the head means, you agree with the words of the other person. If the person is nodding the head slowly means, that other person is listening to the conversation interestingly, however, it also means faked nodding. But, if the person’s eyes are showing interest in conversation, then it means that the nodding is not faked. Nodding the head quickly means that the person is in a hurry. Moreover, this hurry nodding also means that the person has listened to the same point many times and would like to go to the next point.
• Shaking the head means showing disagreement or impoliteness for something
• Moving the head in sideways means, that they do not trust the person or annoyed with him/her
• Moving the head up means showing your alertness for the topic spoken by the other person and moreover, he/she is not showing any bias and listening openly.
• Moving your head high in the air means, you are showing arrogance and inferiority
• Tilting the head to one side means you are thoughtful, trust, faith and interested in the topic spoken by the other person